Blogging from a small part of the Internet linked to NYC.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Voyager Survival Tip

A Voyager:
An explorer of alternate realities and temporal references. Originating from one of the select few "golden points" of existence, these voyagers travel to alternate planes of reality purely for the sake of exploration, as the information they learn may or may not be useful in their home reality. Their trips in time almost always seem to have been fated, or destined, to have occurred, and are overseen by the twelve Time Masters, who are charged with their training, debriefing and assignments.

Now as a Voyager, you know that you can't always take everything you need with you, and you need to be as ready as possible for whatever situation you encounter. So your greatest tool is your instinct and training. You can't always rely on what you know, because it may not pertain to where you are currently visiting.

So here are six quick tips that you should know if you suddenly find yourself thrown into a different reality.

Tip #1: Always have a few stories, and a joke or two, ready. Many a Voyager has survived by distracting whoever, or whatever, was about to kill him or her.

Tip #2: Never refuse what is food or drink is offered to you. Unless it will obviously kill you (such as hydrochloric acid), or the food in question asks you not to eat it. If you absolutely cannot eat the food in question, either pretend to eat, or claim to have a n upset stomach.
NOTE: Keep in mind that some beings know you are a Voyager, and will attempt to feed you inedible objects. As was the case with the Gormesh of Plaxis VIII ref. 555, who will usually try to serve you dirt and urine to laugh at you.

Tip #3: As soon as you "land", try to find a pen. You might need it to take notes.

Tip #4: Always be polite. Make sure to say "please" and "thank you". In some cases, forgetting to say "excuse me" is cause enough to get stabbed.

Tip #5: When in doubt, wear dark shoes. Sometimes black sneakers can pass for shoes.

Tip #6: Always root for the home team. If you accidentally chose the unpopular team, make sure to say "Yeah, so? How about loser buys the next round?"